All or Nothing Or Everything?
by That-Little-Canadian-Shipper
Summary: I don't know how it happened. One minute, we're fighting. Another minute, we're kissing. It made no sense at all. JYDER.
1. Chapter 1

_**All or Nothing or Everything?**_

_**Hello!**_

_**This fanfiction in going to be a few chapters. **_

_**Jyder. (:**_

_**ENJOY. **_

I don't know how it happened. One minute, we're fighting. Another minute, we're kissing. It made no sense at all.

Let me rewind a few days. The day that I found out the identity of Katie. My internet catfisher.

I always had a little thought in my mind that it was Unique, but I never thought it was true. I thought I was just wrong. I was actually hoping that it wouldn't be Unique. Not that I don't think she/he is cool, but that I kind of wanted it to be somebody else.

Marley Rose.

At first, when Marley came up and told me it was her, I was mad. But, I soon got over it. The plan was, be mad, kiss her. Kiss her. KISS HER. BUT, that part never came. Because stupid Unique had to come out and say it was her/him.

I was mad that she made Marley come up and say it was her, I was mad that it wasn't Marley, I was mad that Unique waited until now to tell me it was her. I wanted to scream at Unique for screwing everything up.

Seriously, dude. Make up your mind. I mean, feud week, you pretty much hated me. But then, you loved me? It was too confusing for my taste.

Glee club the day after Regionals wasn't the funnest, considering it was my last time there. They threw me a huge goodbye party, even though I thought it was ridiculous. I hated when people made too big of a deal about me.

First, my dyslexia, everyone hugged me and told me how much of a 'fighter' I was. Dyslexia makes it hard to read and write, it wasn't gonna kill me. Now, me leaving? Sheesh.

The only reason they threw this party for me, was to make me feel guilty about leaving. Those bastards.

Artie threw a party hat on my head, and Mr Schuester had noise makers. Why would party hats and noise makers be acceptable at a goodbye party? It was ridiculous.

The lyrics 'For he's a jolly good fellow!' would be stuck in my head all weekend. Uch. I was pretty convinced that they were kind of happy that I was leaving. Except for Jake for some reason.

He actually seemed pretty upset.

Whatever.

Shouldn't this party be for Brittany? She was going to MIT, not just quitting Glee club. We might never see her again, and they are throwing _me _a party? It made no sense.

I remember seeing Marley comforting Unique. Must be upset that I was leaving. Whatever, it was her fault I was going anyways. I couldn't spend that much time with Unique, considering what happens in this club.

If you have a crush on somebody, you pretty much all the time get together with them. Sam and Brittany, Jake and Marley, and if I stayed, Unique and me most likely.

There would be no fighting it. Everyone would force us to 'talk out our feelings' and 'communicate' and all that shit. I don't have any kinds of feelings towards Unique, except for hate.

I think that may be why some people don't like Glee club. They just don't want to date anybody. Except for the Cheerio's and Football players.

But I don't count in the date able football player category. Nobody wants to date a dyslexic, football playing, singing, Justin Bieber lookalike. I wouldn't date me.

But, for some reason, Unique wants me. Maybe its because I'm sweet, and not too bad on the eyes. I'll never know, because I'm never talking to her again.

I also remember seeing Kitty and Sugar eyeing me up, like they were going to feed on my flesh. Were they mad? Probably, but that's an understatement. They hated that I was leaving. Kitty and me joined together, and I know that she's mad that I didn't keep my promise about staying. And Sugar, well, I don't really understand why Sugar was mad.

Maybe she thought I was cute? But wait, she liked Artie, didnt she? Or did Kitty like Artie? Whatever. Glee club is confusing like that.

I saw Blaine and Sam chatting about something completely irrelevant, and everyone else was either singing, or talking to there friends.

Wasn't this my party? Weren't they supposed to be talking to me? Weren't they supposed to be saying their goodbyes to me? Not like I cared or anything.

I looked around the party room and saw Jake stumbling over to me. Was he drunk? When he got to me, I could smell the toxic alcohol covering his body. That answers that question.

"Hey Ryder." He said, in almost a whisper. I flinched at the smell of his breath. It was horrid. "Dude. Breath mint " I stepped back, and breathed in the fresh air, that didn't have Jake's breath lurking in it.

"Y-You shouldn't l-leave." He grabbed my shoulders. I raised my eyebrow. What did he mean by that? I shouldn't leave. He's hated me since the day I stepped into this room, and now he didn't want me to leave? Psh, don't leave, my ass.

He didn't want me to stay. I kissed his girlfriend, he couldn't want me here. "Whatever man. You know, your little girlfriend might be mad that you're drinking." I crossed my arms and looked at him sternly.

"Screw Marley. She isn't even with me right now so who cares?" He looked behind him and saw Marley with Unique. "I don't want to d-date her. I w-want you." Even though he was drunk, I couldn't help but think. Was he being serious? Does he want me? Really?

I just played it off as nothing. "Shut up man." I pushed his shoulder gently, but not hard enough to make him fall over. "I'm serious. You-You're hot." I rolled my eyes. He was being stupid. And very, very difficult.

I saw Mr Schuester sitting at the piano about to start another rendition of 'For He's a jolly good fellow!'. "Listen dude, lets leave." I whispered to him. He grinned devilishly and we ran out the door before I could hear another version of that horrible song.

Well it wasn't horrible. It's just that something goes off in your head after hearing the same song a million times in a row, by the exact person. My person was Mr Schuester singing that damn song. He was a great singer, but I can only listen to him sing that song so many times.. Whenever he started a new rendition, I wanted to destroy everything he loved.

Including that damn piano.

I looked to my left and saw Jake laying on the ground, laughing. Was he high too? "Dude get up." I kicked him lightly in the stomach. He just groaned. I sighed and sat on the ground beside him. I took his hands in mine and pulled him up.

I made sure to check out his eyes before he turned away. Yeah, they were bloodshot. He was high. "I-I can't go home Ryder. I'll st-start crying again." He confessed to me. Cry about what? Me? No, couldn't be me..

"You can come over to my house tonight." I pretty much draped him over my shoulder to get him to finally move. "Hey!" I heard a voice say. Shit. Our cover was blown. I turned around slowly, Jake still on my shoulders. Kitty was standing at the door.

"And where do you think you're going?" She asked, raising both of her eyebrows. "Home. I can't stand this lame party." I let go of Jake, and let him fall to the floor. "Just tell Schuester that Jake wasn't feeling well." I begged of her.

"Whats in it for me?"

Did there have to be something in it for her? Of course. It was Kitty. She lives for getting stuff in return. What did she want?

"What do you want?"

She seemed to ponder that for a moment. "Ooh! I know! You tell everyone that you're gay!" Kitty squealed. "Okay, okay. Whatever." I agreed. Like I was going to do that though. I wasn't gay. At all.

She pretty much screamed at how excited she was. She ran in, and when she was out of sight, I turned around. I saw Jake lingering down the hallways. "Jake!" I chased after him, and grabbing him, slowing him down.

I let him go and watched as his face went blank. "What now?"

He pointed in front of him. "Don't you see it Ryder? It's a fire breathing dragon!" I had to admit, Jake high was pretty damn funny. I looked down the hall and saw a picture of a dragon. At least he wasn't completely lost.

"Lets go, buddy." I pushed him forwards, but he wouldn't co-operate. "No! The dragon might light us on fire!" He shouted. I slammed my hand against his mouth so nobody in the other room would hear us.

I grabbed him and threw him over my shoulder again. This time I ran down the hallway, and out the doors. When we got outside, I could feel him start to shiver. "Chilly." He told me, his teeth chattering.

I pushed him towards my car, and threw him in the back seat. "Why are we leaving the school? Everyone's going to die! The dragons going to kill them all!" He screamed out, actually sounding scared.

"Jake, nobody is going to die." I started up the car and headed straight to my house. "Boom!" He shouted, making my swerve the car. Luckily, traffic that night wasn't terrible, so I didn't hit anything or anybody.

"What the hell dude?!" I shouted back to him.

"That was the school exploding! Good job Ryder! YOU'VE KILLED EVERYONE!" He started to weep hysterically, to which I rolled my eyes.

This would be a long night.

_**Thanks for reading! PLEASE REVIEW! :D**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello! So, I saw that a few of you guys liked my story! Thanks to all of you who read the first chapter. I feel loved. 3**

**Enjoy this chapter pretty please, and review telling me what you think! (:**

* * *

I've seen Jake drunk before. I've even seen him high. But not at the same time. I was pissed at Jake whenever he did drugs are drank, so imagine my feelings about this. I wanted to smack him upside the head.

When my car came to a stop, I looked behind my seat at him. He was laying on the back seat, playing with the air. I rolled my eyes at the intoxicated boy.

He knew I hated seeing him drunk. Was he doing this specifically to piss me off? Or was he being serious when he said he wanted me to stay?

I couldn't shake that out of my mind. He told me I was better than Marley, his girlfriend. Was he saying it because he was drunk? Then again, being drunk did make him tell the truth.

One time when he drank, he confessed that he saw me and Marley kiss backstage during Grease, and that he was really hurt.

Was he hurt because Marley was part of the kiss? Or, me?

I tried to get loose of the feeling by turning to music on in the car. Loud music filled the car, making Jake groan loudly.

"Too loud!" He shouted above the music.

"Too bad!" I shouted back. I heard him groan even louder, which made me start to crack up.

When we finally got back to my house, I turned to music straight off. If my mother had heard it, she would have a fit. Saying how 'I shouldn't be listening to those obcenities.' or how 'jesus would punish me for it'. Yeah, like Jesus would punish me for listening to music.

I slid out of the car, and opened the back door up. Jake was laying there, covering his ears. "Calm down dude. We're at my house."

I helped him out of the car, and slung him over my shoulder.

I silently closed the door and made my way to the house. When I opened the door, I held my breath in hope that my parents wouldn't be in there.

If they saw how Jake was right now, they'd scream, yell, and forbid me to ever speak to him again. I looked up and saw my mom distracted by another work out show.

She had headphones in, and was in her yoga clothes. I glanced at the TV and saw them stretching in a way that looked very unhealthy. But my mother thinks that it will give her some muscle.

I rolled my eyes, and ran towards the stairs. "What are they doing to that poor lady?!" Jake shouted, pointing at the TV.

Because of my dumb luck, my mother saw us. I positioned Jake so he looked sober enough.

My mom took out her headphones and paused the TV. "Hey boys.. Ryder, you never said Jake was coming over." She crossed her arms and looked at him.

"It was kind of last minute, its fine though, right mom?" I really hoped she would say yes. I couldn't just send him home like that.

She thought about it for a few moments, before nodding. "Just don't disturb my yoga. This week I'm working on my legs." She told us.

"Sweet, thanks mom!" I kissed her on the cheek, and quickly rushed Jake up to my room.

When we got in, he looked straight into my eyes. "You're such a good friend." He smiled and wrapped his arms around me. His body was heavy on mine, so I fell backwards onto the bed.

I pushed at him. "Dude, get off." I kept shoving but he wouldn't budge. "No way."

I finally decided to give up. "Fine. You got me. What do you want to do now?" I asked.

He seemed to put some thought into that, before answering. "Why are you in love with Marley?" He asked, shaking off whatever his idea was.

I shrugged. "I know she's your girlfriend.. But I just, love her eyes. And her voice. And her everything.." I confessed. He nodded, and rolled off of me.

"We're bros. And I should tell you, that you have no chance."

For somebody whose drunk, he's sure pissing me off almost as much as he does when he's sober.

"And why not?" I sat up, a bit ticked.

He just laid on the bed. "Because, you come off too strong. Marley doesn't like you."

Doesn't like me? She didn't seem that way when we kissed. Twice. I groaned. "Shut up Jake. You know nothing."

Now he sat up. "I-I kind of do. She's dating me, isn't she?" He smirked at me, and my response was just to slap him. He fell onto the bed, holding his cheek.

"I said shut up."

He turned to me and scowled. "Anyways.. I know what somebody acts like when they like somebody. And believe me, Marley is not showing that."

"Are you deaf? Shut up!" I yelled at him. I stood on the ground and stared him down.

He stood too, and grabbed my shoulders. "I j-just dont want you to get h-hurt."

I pushed him away, and he hit the wall. He glared at me, and now I know he was pissed.

He charged at me, and brought me to the ground.

He started hitting my sides. At least it wasn't my face. That right there was the money maker.

I started kicking at him, with my free legs, but he just pinned them down with his own. He set his arms heavily on my shoulders so I couldn't move my arms.

I pretty much gave up after that.

"Alright. So I'm down. What are you gonna do about it?" I asked, earning a devilish grin from him.

He leaned down so that our faced were an inch apart. He breathed heavily, and I could still smell the alcohol on his breath.

I scrunched up my nose at that. "Your breath reeks." I commented.

He ignored my comment and grabbed the sides of my face, his elbows still pressed heavily on mine.

"3...2...1..." He whispered.

"What are you-" He cut me off by pressing his lips up against mine. My eyes shot open, in shock. Now I know why he blocked my ability to move. He didn't want me to be able to stop this.

How long has he wanted this? Or, wait. Was he playing a big trick on me? He loves playing tricks on me. Was this just a big scheme to embarrass me?

Were there hidden camera's somewhere? No. Of course not. Because if there were, Jake would be making fun of me for.. Defiling myself at night.

But this is weird.

Too weird.

I was too caught up in my thought that I never realized that his hands were travelling south of the equator.

I rolled my eyes, Jake was always one who took things too far too fast.

I could feel his tongue jabbing at my bottom lip. Why was he so into this? Well, now that I think about it, his lips were very soft, and nice.

Wait, Ryder. Stop thinking like this. You are straight. You like Marley.

But, maybe not for tonight?

Ryder, stop!

I could feel my mouth opening though, it was completely not under my control that these things were happening.

I could feel Jake sticking his tongue straight into my mouth, and moving it around my mouth. An involuntary moan escaped my lips.

Okay screw it.

I kissed him back. Now, we're back to where the whole story started.

Our tongues battled for dominance of my mouth, and his came out as the victor. But I didn't mind.

My body was filling with ecstasy, my heart was racing. I could taste the alcohol that was in him.

It took me a while to realize that my arms were free, so when I did notice, I wrapped them around Jake's neck, bringing him in closer.

He leaned his head so that he could get a better taste, and more access to my mouth.

I let Jake go, and propped myself up by my elbows.

We were getting really into this moment, that is, until I felt something hit me. No, not mentally. Physically. Something that kept jabbing at my groin.

Holy shit. Did Jake have a boner?! Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.

I caused that. I caused that! I screamed in my head, but that was until I realized that blood was rushing down on myself. I had to stop this before I popped one too.

I pushed him away from me, making him hit the wall. He didn't even try to hide his hurt, and discomfort.

Obviously he wasn't comfortable. He wore tight jeans and he had a stiffy. It was supposed to hurt. I looked down at myself and realized that I was in the clear. Good thing too.

I glanced back up at Jake. He now had his hands on his face, and he was groaning.

I have to say, I did feel a little bad. It sucks knowing that your little member rose to life, because of your best friend.

And trust me, it really does suck. Guilty pleasure week was horrible for me. Especially with Marley, in that tight little dress. And now that I think about it, Jake singing that Bobby Brown song while moving all around the room was pretty, no Ryder. Do not even think it.

I shook off that thought and looked down again. Still in the clear. Thank goodness.

I could see Jake was upset. Well yeah. No duh. I'd be upset too if somebody I liked stopped a kiss, right when it was getting good.

I sat up and sighed. "Jake.." I started. He peeked up at me and I could see, he was really upset.

"Yeah?" I stood on my feet, and grabbed his hand to help him up. When he was up, his solider seemed even larger. "Okay, you go to the bathroom and fix yourself." I told him, facing away from him.

I could hear him step out and open the door, but he tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and saw him smirking. He stole a quick kiss on my lips and left the room.

I could feel my cheeks start to burn. Why, why would he do that again?

I crossed my arms, and laid on my bed.

A couple minutes later, I heard Jake call my name. I assumed he was just, calling me for help of something, so when I entered the bathroom, I was pretty shocked.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello! **

**The last chapter might have been a bit risky.. WHOOPS. **

**This chapter will be really short. IM SORRY.**

**Anyways, enjoy this chapter!**

"I'm so sorry." I ran out of the room, embarrassed. Jake was molesting himself, while thinking of me. I walked in and saw him.

His pants were at his ankles, he was touching himself. When Jake called out my name, I thought he needed help. But no.

He got off because of me, why else would he say my name.

I was breathing heavily, waiting for him to leave the room. After an hour of waiting, I decided that it was just a lost cause.

I climbed into my bed, and started thinking. Did he like me? I mean, he kissed me and touched himself to the thought of me, but did he have deep, emotional feelings for me?

Those thoughts didn't leave my head for the whole night. When I finally got to sleep, my dream didn't help much.

It was just about Jake. Why life, why?

When I woke up, I could feel something warm pressed up against me. I didn't know what it was, but it had a nice feeling. I grinned and laid closer towards the source. It was hard to have such a goodnight sleep for me. Usually I'd think about every single thing there is. Monsters, math, glee club, Marley, even Jake sometimes.

But that night, it was the best sleep I had in a while.

I opened up my eyes and saw arms around my waist. Those arms looked awfully familiar. I turned my head and saw Jake laying there. His legs were entangled in mine, and his one arm was lowering down the my thigh.

I sighed, a bit scared, and unwrapped his arms from me. That was the easy part. I looked down and saw his legs. I rolled my eyes, and tried to untangle them, but it was really hard. He had them locked in there.

I looked at Jake, and flicked his face. He didn't respond. I flicked him again. That time his eyes opened slightly. He sat up, unintentionally untangling his legs from mine.

I smiled, and quickly sat up on the bed. I gave Jake a quick look again, and headed towards the bathroom.

When I got in there, I realized something that I didn't see earlier.

My boxers were sticky.

I just had a wet dream, about Jake. Holy crap. I rushed over to the sink, and washed my hands. I looked into the mirror and took deep breaths. Why? WHY?!

Why did I have a wet dream about Jake? He was my friend, nothing else. I screamed in my head. He was invading my dreams now too!

My thoughts were cut short when I heard a knock on the door. "Ryder, hurry up in there, or I'll be late for work." I heard my mother say.

I looked at myself in the mirror again and closed my eyes. When I opened them again, I left the room.

I completely ignored my mother. She'd notice how out of it I was, and start asking questions that I had no intention of answering.

Without my mother noticing anything, I ran back into my bedroom. I slammed the door shut, hoping she wouldn't say anything about it.

I peeked up and saw Jake sitting up on the bed, his face in his palms. "Never again." He told me. I smirked. "Next time you see me even go for a drink, slap it out of my hands." He ordered.

"Of course your majesty." I smiled and sat beside Jake on the bed. "Do you remember anything from last night?" I asked, awkwardly.

This conversation was bound to happen sometime. That time was now. "I remember the party, and then you taking me home, and something about a dragon... But everything else is a bit fuzzy." He answered, rubbing his face.

Okay, he didn't remember the kiss. Maybe it meant nothing. No, not maybe. It didn't mean anything. NOTHING.

"Alright, cool." I said, grinning. "Why? What happened?" He asked, crossing his arms. I shook my head. "Uh, nothing.. We left the school after the party, and I let you crash here." I lied. He nodded.

"Thanks, man. I know I'm a nightmare to deal with when I'm drunk." I shook my head. "Nah, no big deal." I shook it off.

He smiled, but looked at the ground. "Ryder, I'm not stupid." He said, standing up. I looked at him oddly. "I never said you were."

"If there is something you aren't telling me, please, say now." I shook my head. "There isn't anything." I said, trying to convince myself more than him.

"Okay... Well, I'm going to Marley's house.. Bye." He grabbed the door handle, but before he left, I stopped him. "Jake, wait!" I shouted, grabbing his hand. He looked down at it, awkwardly.

"Uh.. You okay there bud?" Jake asked, confused. I shook my head again. "You kissed me last night." I let out. His eyes went wide. "Excuse me?!"

"Yeah. Y-You kissed me. I don't know why, or what it means but I just wanted to tell you." I let his hand go, and he slowly brought it back to himself. "No.. I'm not g-gay. That's wrong. I- I have to go." He opened the door and ran out.

Oh crap.

Did I just screw EVERYTHING up?


	4. Cory's Note

Hello!  
It's me here with, no chapter, but an authors note.  
I'm sure some of you have heard the news about Cory Monteith's passing. This really breaks my heart, and I'm sorry to say, but I'm going to be taking a short break on writing.  
I'm really not in the mood to write. Please understand.  
My heart goes out to family, friends, and fans world wide. My heart goes out to Lea Michele as well. I feel horrible for you.  
Today I locked myself in the bathroom and just cried because of it.  
I love you Cory.  
*does 3 finger salute. Raises Wand. Puts the L up on her forehead. Whatever he wants.*  
Whenever I hear thunder, I'll know it's you. Playing your drums up in heaven.  
Canada, and the world, lost a true star. A true talent.  
-Brittney


	5. Chapter 4

**Hello!**

**Sorry for the wait for this chapter.**

**This one will be Jake's POV.**

I raced home as fast as I could.

Me, Jake Puckerman, brother of the biggest Lady Killer, kissed a guy.

Who he liked.

No.

Who he was CONFUSED about.

I've tried to convince myself that I don't like him, I liked Marley. Only Marley. Not Ryder. Well maybe a little bit- NO JAKE!

When I opened the door to my house, my mother was sitting at the table.

"Hey honey, I heard that you spent the night at Ryders house. Hope you had fun." She said, grinning.

Ignoring her, I ran out of the kitchen and into my bedroom. I slammed the door shut and laid on my bed.

Memories started flushing back to me.

Memories of him, in comprimising situations.

This happened everyday. Whenever something happened, I'd go into my room and start thinking of him.

I hated myself for it.

Heavy breaths flew out of my mouth. My body shook. My hands gripped the blankets tightly.

Mentally, I could see a Jake with red clothes standing on my shoulder.

_Mom would hate you. It's a SIN. _

I wanted to flick the mini Jake off my shoulder, and shove him in the blender so he'd never bother me again.

_You may be a fag, but nobody has to know. _

I punched the bed.

_EVERYONE WOULD HATE YOU._

I got off the bed and stood. I slammed my fist into the wall, grunting loudly.

_FAG!_

All I could hear was the everyone screaming at me. "Marley.." I said, quietly.

_She may love you, but you DONT love her. _

With one final blow to the wall, I dissolved into a mess. Tears streamed down my face.

Leaning against the wall I slid down the floor.

Voices filled my head, voices that were mocking me.

I kept telling them to stop.

But they wouldn't listen.

THEY WOULDN'T STOP!

"Jake, honey, are you okay in there?" My mother asked, from one side of the door.

"IM FINE." I lied.

I reached up towards my dresser, opening one of the drawers. I stood from the ground and searched through it.

I took out a sharp object from the drawer and bit my lip. This was normal. Nobody knew about, except for a random chick I once hooked up with. She saw the scars and started freaking out.

She kicked me out of her house and I never saw her again.

I had done this enough times for it not to hurt as much. The pain quickly subsided.

THE NEXT DAY

"Bye mom!" I shouted, leaving the house.

When I got out, I saw Ryder standing at the door. He had a look on his face, that made it seem like he did something wrong.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, scowling at him.

"We have to talk."

"Why? NOTHING HAPPENED. I was drunk, I didn't know what I was doing. End of story." I lied.

He grabbed my hand. "That isn't the end of the story." I pushed his hand away, and him. He fell on the ground.

"I'm not a fag, Ryder. Leave me alone." I ran past him and down the street.

I ran so far so fast, that I lost my breath. I coughed and started breathing heavily. "Jake?" I heard somebody say.

When I turned around, I saw Blaine standing there.

I smiled, grimly. "What are you running from? Squirrels?" He asked, joking around.

"I.. I um.." Before I could finish what I was saying, I could feel tears filling up my eyes.

"Whats wrong?" Blaine asked, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Everything." Before I knew it, Blaine was wrapping me up in his arms and holding onto me, tightly.

I cried into his shoulder.

"You can trust me, with anything." He patted my back. When I pulled away from him, I wiped the tears away.

I lifted up my sleeve, showing him my arms.

His eyes went wide. "Jake, are those-" I nodded.

Again, he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me.

"I'm so messed up." I cried.

* * *

When I got to school, I saw Marley standing near my locker. I took a deep breath and walked over to her.

"Hey you." She smiled, and leaned closer. I pecked her lips and turned to my locker. I put the combination in and opened it up.

I stuffed my bag inside and grabbed my books.

"I was talking to Ryder today. He said that he really didn't want to rejoin Glee club. That sucks." She said, snarling her upper lip.

"Whatever. It's not like he served much purpose there other than being a seat filler." I mumbled.

Marley looked at me with a mad look on her face. "Jake! Without him, those stupid football players would kill you."

I shrugged. "Meh."

* * *

"Jake."

Everybody had been pestering me all day. So what if I was tired, was I not allowed to be or something?

"Jake."

Seriously though. It felt like wherever I went, Ryder was following me.

"Jake."

I had just realized that somebody had been talking to me. I looked up from my food, that I had been picking at with a fork.

It turns out it was Blaine talking to me.

"We have to talk. Mainly about, why you're doing.." He glanced at my arm. "What you're doing."

"Because people suck. " I answered, quietly.

"That can't be enough to make you.. Cut..." He said. I could tell he was uncomfortable with this, but he just wanted to help.

"Why do you care?"

"Because, you're my friend. I care about you." He reached his hand over and grabbed mine. I looked at it, and looked back at him.

"I'll answer your question if you do me a favor." I told him, smirking.

"What?"

Next thing I knew, I was shoving Blaine out the door. I shut the door behind me.

"Give me your lighter." I told him, holding my hand out.

"I don't have one though."

I raised my eyebrow. "Blaine, we're friends. I know that you always carry a lighter with you. Now give me it."

He sighed and pulled one out of his pocket.

I pulled something out of my pocket, a cigarette.

I lit the smoke and when it was good, I stuffed the one end into my mouth.

I took a few puffs of it and blew the smoke into Blaine's face.

"This may seem odd.. But, I always thought that guys looked hot when they smoked." He admitted.

"Cool." I said, taking another puff.

"Here, let me have some." He took the smoke out of my mouth, and put it in his mouth.

I smiled and took the smoke. I threw it on the ground and stomped on it with my foot.

"Come with me." I told him. I grabbed his hand and brought him towards my car.

I shoved him in the backseat and jumped in too. Behind me, the door closed.

"What are you doing?" He asked, curiously.

I grabbed his neck and brought him closer. My lips touched his and he jumped.

"Dude, what the hell?" He pushed me away.

"Sorry." I said quietly.

"It will never happen again?" Blaine asked.

I nodded.

We looked at each other, and smiled. He grabbed my shoulders and pressed his lips against mine in a rough motion.

Our lips moved in a similar motion, getting access of every part of each others mouths.

The kiss was brought to an end when we both heard a tapping on the window. I pushed Blaine away and turned around.

Oh shit.

"Jake?" Kitty asked, through the glass.


	6. Chapter 5

**Hello!**

**Here is the new chapter of ALL OR NOTHING OR EVERYTHING**

**Sorry for the lack of updates, I've been busy. Well, if having a GLEE marathon while waiting for the new season counts as being busy.**

**Whatever.**

**HERE**

**ps; I'm not killing Finn off in my story. I don't know how much he will matter to this story, but I'm not killing him off. **

**Dedicated to Cory. **

Hi, I'm Ryder Lynn.

And I just learned that I had an internet girlfriend who turned out to be a transgender Male to Female.

I also just learned that my best friend wanted to kiss me while he was drunk. And he did. And I liked it.

First off, I know all of you reading this are curious as to my relationship to everyone in the glee club. So here, I will give you all the details.

Marley Rose- I've wanted her since Grease, and when I kiss her, fireworks appear.

Kitty Wilde- Pretty cool girl, kind of a bitch, used to dig me.

Sam Evans- My Bro, who sometimes helps me with my dyslexa.

Blaine Anderson- I don't really know him, but I know he's a cool dude.

Tina Cohen Chang- I've spoken to her a few times, she'd be a cool girlfriend. But I'm not into long distance relationships, so we wouldn't work out.

Artie Abrahms- He cast me in Grease, so I think he's great.

Joe Hart- His hair is too cool. One time he cut one off and gave it to me. I have it stashed in my dresser.

Brittany S Pierce- Dumbest girl ever, but she's really hot... Even though she's dating Sam.

Sugar Motta- Rich. But really spacey sometimes, and kind of mean.

Unique 'Wade' Adams- Don't even get me started- SHE/HE IS A BITCH. I can't believe he/she would do that to me!

Last, Jake Puckerman.

Sigh.

If only I was sure of my relationship with him. After I told him about the kiss, he sort of ran out on me. I guess I could see myself with him, but I hated him for so long before finally giving in and tried to be his friend.

I want to try something.

I want to kiss him while he's sober.

"Ryder!" I spun around and saw Kitty running over to me. I smiled. "Hey you. What's up?" I asked. She looked like she was panicking. "I just saw the HUGEST thing ever!" She screeched.

I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Jake... I don't know why he was doing it, Oh my gosh. It just happened." She said, panting.

"Okay, Kitty. What is going on?"

"Oreo Boy was getting it on with Gay Warbler in the parking lot."

Time froze.

Jake and Blaine were... doing stuff?

Why did this bother me so much?

"Ryder?" Kitty clapped her hands, snapping me out of my daze.

I stepped away from her. "I have to go." I ran away and headed to the doors. I saw Blaine and Jake talking.

A glare was plastered onto my face. I ran over to both of them and pushed Blaine to the ground. "Leave my best friend alone!" I screamed at him.

Blaine looked at Jake, confused. "Dude!" Jake grabbed my arms and held me back from Blaine.

"I know what you two did. Keep your paws off my boy. Got it?" I snapped. Blaine nodded and ran off. Jake looked at me, oddly.

"What is your problem?" Jake asked, softly. "Why were you doing stuff with Blaine? I thought you said you weren't gay."

"I'm not!"

"Then why, why did you..." I went quieter so nobody would hear. "Why did you kiss me? Why did you kiss Blaine? If you're straight, then why are you acting like this? Are you trying to play with my mind or something?" I asked him. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes.

Jake looked around. "Can we talk in private?" He asked.

"Fine." He pointed to his car, and we both hopped in. He started it up and we drove off.

* * *

When Jake and I were at the destination he was bringing me to, I looked over at him. "Explain." I told him.

He remained quiet. "Jake. Now."

His eyes turned to me, but his head didn't move. "I'm sorry. Sorry for kissing you when I was drunk, and kissing Blaine. I'm just so, fucking confused."

"Confused about what?"

"About you. About Marley. About everything." He reached over and placed his palm on my knee.

"Jake, I want you to do something. You were drunk when you kissed me. Now you're sober. Kiss me and maybe we can see if you have feelings for me... Or if I have feelings for you." I looked at him, and he did the same.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded.

We both leaned closer, and he placed his hand on the side of my face. "I just want to ask you once more. Are you okay with this?" He asked, softly.

"Just fuckin kiss me already." I ordered. He smirked and looked into my eyes.

The tension between us rose. Our breaths filled the silence. "Ryder?" He spoke.

"Yes?"

His response was pressing his lips to mine. I smiled into the kiss. My jaw created movements to keep this moment heated.

There was no love in this moment, just passion and heat. His hand slid down my body, and his hand pressed down on my thigh.

I gasped, and when I opened my mouth, his tongue shot in my mouth. A moan escaped my lips.

When we parted, he smirked. "I see you liked that." He commented. I smiled, and leaned back in my seat, heavy pants coming out of my mouth.

"Fu-uck."

He looked over at me. "Ryder?"

"Yeah?"

There was a moment of silence before he said it. "I kissed you because I've liked you since Unplugged week. Seeing how vulnerable you got in Everybody Hurts, did something to me. I finally did it, and it changed everything when you told me about the kiss. And now that I'm sober, and I did that, my mind is spiralling. I never thought I'd be gay, or even bisexual. But I think I am."

I grabbed his hand. "This will be our little secret then."

We both smiled.

"I wanna go somewhere. And I know just the place." Jake said, starting the car up again.

* * *

Thanks for reading!

PLEASE REVIEW. XOXO.


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